As a few of you know, lately I’ve been having a sort of spiritual crisis. I’m unsure of my relationship with God and find myself searching more fervently than ever to find the right path to the higher power I believe in. When I find myself in great conundrums such as these, mainly the person I turn to is my brother. Though his advice is sometimes harsh, and his religious views are vastly different than my own, when I took my crisis to him, he asked me a question that has completely revolutionized the way I search for faith and the way I think about the higher power that exists.
In general, crises of faith beg the question, “Does God really exist?” And the great thing about that question is that you may never actually be able to answer it. My brother pointed out to me that you could literally spend a lifetime searching for the answer to that question. So instead of pondering an endless question, try to understand your view of God instead -ask yourself, “What kind of person is God?”
The word “person” is used in a very general sense here, obviously, but asking the question as to what kind of God exists, shows you if this God is one worth worshiping. If for example you’re struggling with this frequently talked about idea that God has a perfect plan for your life, and you’ve reached a point where you used to believe that and it is no longer holding true – thinking about the kind of person God is, helps you understand where you stand with this Divine Spirit. Does God care about the minutia of your life? Does the Divine Spirit care about this bill that you have to pay or this relationship you want to save?
It will take you some time to think about this, so don’t rush the process. Think about what kind of qualities the Divine Spirit possesses. If you’re having a hard time intentionally picking attributes of the Divine, try writing down the first words that come to mind when you hear the word “God” or “Goddess” whatever path you subscribe to.
Understanding who God is and what the Divine Spirit is like will help you define where you stand with this entity. Is God simply a passive entity that cares little or not at all for the daily happenings of your life? Is the Spirit an entity that intervenes in human affairs on the behalf of those that worship Him/Her? Are the qualities ascribed to this Spirit qualities that you deem worthy of worship?
It is, indeed a question that is tough to answer. To be completely honest, my brother and I had this conversation weeks ago, and I’m still pondering the meaning of it and the answers I have. But the most helpful thing I’ve found is to connect with others from different faiths to tell me about who God is to them. Sometimes you can’t understand your truth until you hear it come from someone else’s mouth – but if you are looking for answers, you must seek them out! Questions such as these can be truly frustrating, but the best way to find answers is to keep an open mind and search in every place you can – even the ones you don’t think will yield any results.